Recipe: Scones and Strawberry Jam
Author: Ed Schmeltzer
Photographer: Zoe Lockhart
I fear that I may have made a serious mistake. I’m not sure I’ll survive the next holiday. I can hear the angry mobs back home in London, sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches. I have made, as they say back in the old country, a slight cock-up. Somehow, I’ve produced something like a year of these things, and have somehow not produced an article on scones.
If British pastry is Endgame spoilers, scones are the scene when Ant-Man chows down on Thanos’ ear like Mike Tyson. If British pastry is the late 2018 rap/country crossover genre, scones are Lil Nas X. So, you can see why the fact that I’ve never addressed them is a bit of a problem. Luckily for you (I guess) and me (definitely, given the mobs will be called off), I have decided to tackle this most foundational of pastries, in a way that is quick, easy, and at least relatively tasty!
Before we get into the crunch, however, I think it might be worth exploring just what the hell a scone is. Scones are not the odd triangle things that people here apparently associate with the word scone. Instead, they are much more like a biscuit. Indeed, I am fairly certain the biscuit is a descendant of the scone. In any event, picture a fluffier, sweetened version of a biscuit, and there you have it. Scones are excellent with breakfast, or, most traditionally, with butter and jam.
Which we are also going to make.
Surprise extra recipe! Yay!
Right. Enough dilly dallying—let’s get into it.
2 cups strawberries
2 cups sugar
2 slices of orange rind
1 cinnamon stick
Slice and mash the strawberries into a paste. Combine this paste in a saucepan with the sugar and stir until the sugar is dissolved. Add orange rinds and cinnamon.
Simmer gently on medium heat for 5-10 mins. At the end of the cooking time, scrape off the foam at the top of the jam and fish out the cinnamon and orange.
Let cool slightly and decant into a jar. Store in fridge for up to three weeks.
4 tsp baking powder
2 tsp salt.
1/3 cup sugar.
3 oz butter.
2/3 cup buttermilk
1 tsp cinnamon
Small dash of vanilla
Combine flour, baking powder, salt, and sugar in a bowl. Whisk until evenly combined.
Add the butter (cut into half-inch cubes), and mix using the tips of your fingers until the flour-butter mixture looks pebbly.
Mix buttermilk and egg separately. Whisk to combine.
Add the buttermilk and egg mixture to a well in the center of the flour. Combine with a spatula until a shaggy dough is formed.
Turn this dough out onto a heavily floured work surface. Lightly knead until the dough comes together, but not too much—over kneading results in dense hockey pucks instead of scones.
Roll out to around a ¾—1-inch thickness. Use the top of a glass to cut out round scone shapes.
Place scones on a greased and floured baking sheet, brush the tops with an egg wash, and bake at 450 degrees F for 12-15 minutes or until risen and golden brown.
 Because I totally have a readership beyond my mum. Happy belated Mother’s Day, Mum!
 Spoiler alert!
 If you ever, ever tell me that the chocolate-chip bullshit that Starbucks sells is a scone, I will personally come to your house and…I dunno, eat your favorite cereal? Yeah. I’ll eat your cereal. TAKE THAT! BAM!
 Please, don’t quote me. You’ll look stupid.
 And that is it. That is literally everything you need to do to make jam. You can do it with any berry, as well. Go crazy, y’all.
 Yes, over kneading will absolutely turn your scones into vulcanized rubber.